Category: the Rant Board
Ok, so I normally don't start blabbing on about my period etc, but I need to rant and perhaps, other women here are having similar problems. I went to the gynachologist and it was a fucking mess. He was an old school asshole! The "I'm the doctor and your the patient" type. My doctor wasn't there. they gave me the option of waiting for her or of seeing another one. I asked how long she'd be and they said they didn't know. So I opted to see this new one, even though he's a man. I figured couldn't hurt right? So, I was finally called into the room. the nurse was a sweetheart, offering her help etc. She gave me this gown and asked if I needed anything else. I said no and she left. lol The gown didn't have sleeves or anything, it was just a large paper towel type sheet. Ok, whatever. So the doctor walked in and I told him my problems.
Dr. How are you doing today?
"me. Not so good. I'm having continuous bleeding. I was bleeding three weeks ago and then it stopped. On Monday, not the last but the one before it, I had what I thought was a regular period but I'm still bleeding."
I explained to him that I was on the patch, for about two years then went through an herbal detox for three months cause I was having the same problem and it went away. Then, I went on the perjestin only pill and stopped that and it came back. He asked for my age and I told him 24.
Dr. Well, the only thing we can do is to put you back on the pill.
Me. But I don't wanna go back on the pill. I don't want hormones. I stopped taking the pill because it was making me moody.
Dr. sometimes, that happens. Me. I didn't like the mood swings.
Dr. Well, that's the only thing that'll stop the bleeding.
Me. But I never had this before going on birth control. that's what caused it in the first place.
Dr. Regardless, that's the only thing we can do. There's the pill, the patch...
Me. I don't ever want to go on the patch again.
Dr. There's the Nuva Ring.
I told him that I pretty much stayed away from synthetic medicine. He checked me and said I was ok, just that I had old blood. I told him that I had a yeast infection and treated it with natural pills. I brought them out and he said they were ok.
Dr. "Acidopholis, doesn't always work," was his only comment. the other two were fish oil and Biotin.
Me. So is there any yeast there?
Dr. "No, you're ok. (in a rushed tone. Almost as if I didn't get it. I'm only asking about my health after all.)
Me. I sometimes have pain during sex or when I haven't had anything put down there in awhile, even with menstrual cups.
Dr. That's normal.
Me. Dr. Chetom told me to get a projesterone cream. So I got one from gnc.
I pulled it out.
Dr. At 24, you don't need to use that. (Keep in mind that it was his colleague that recommended it to me.)
He pulled out a packet and started talking about something with a name that I didn't know, but I caught the drift that it was a lube. So I pulled out my ultraglide, which I'd brought incase I needed to insert my menstrual cup.
Me. Yes, I have many lubes.
Dr. So maybe you should use more.
I'm thinking um, duh! I know about lubes Mr. If that was the problem, I'd be fine.
So then, we finished and he asked if I needed any help. I said no.
Dr. Kelly! Could you come here? Where is she?"
Me. I'm fine, I don't need help. I just need to dress.
Dr. You could do that?
Me. Of course!
Oh my Gods. I just looked at him like he was Bush or someone. See, I'm blind, not retarded? And, um, you know, I'm 24 years old? I should fucking hope I could dress myself! (Question marks put there for tone.)
Never, ever again! am I going to see that asshole. Condescending, When I specifically said that I did not! want to go on hormones, he only offered other hormonal types of birth control! I didn't particularly like being treated like I was some kind of idiot. I think this man got the reflection backwards. The only good thing to come out of that experience is that I know there are no abnormalities in my vagina. I do, however, question the ones in his brain.
Wow. That sucks. Nope, I will definitely not see a male gyno. And your hellish experience is proof enough for me.
Wow, wow.
Well, oddly enough I am going to post here:
Firstly, Tiff, this is wayyyyy more than I, or anyone else on this site, wanted to know about your vagina, that's for sure, but I hope it'll recover and all that.
Secondly I constantly see people on this site complaining about how the blind are treated like children and how much prejudice there is against us, then you decide just because your experience with a male gyno was awful you'll never see one again, what if you tried to help one blind person who was rude to you?
Thirdly you go to this guy to, essentially, ask for an herbal quivalent. He's a doctor, he works with pills, it is true they tend to be a bit pill happy sometimes but you cannot expect him to prescribe you an herbla treatment, for that you need one of them natural healers or some such, what was he supposed to do in the situation. Doctors get very crossed when apatient simply tells them they don't want their solution. You could be a lot more diplomatic, explain how the pill has given you problemsor your worries regarding the pill and ask him for his professional opinion on other options and you should then have an option in mind.
Surely this sounded like rather an annoyed and arrogant doctor who didn't hve too much time for a patient, I've seen those too and it's sad but you could have handled the situation differently, there is such a high level on prejudice in this post and, jeez, seriously, do you always tell the world about your period troubles?
having been through a similar, if not totally the same, experience as yourself, i can sympathise to a certain extent with your anger that the options you were being offered seemed to focus around hormone replacement. I agree; Gynos do see the hormone replacement as a cure to almost anything. however, what i don't agree with is the way you approached the whole situation.
As one who sees patients on a daily basis, I can tell you that one of the things we find most unbearable, most annoying about the folk we see, are those who come in, ask for advice, then throw it all back in your face. Ok, so Mr X comes to see you with a massive swelling on his ankle *not the same, I know, but keep with me here, it will become clear where my point is going*.
Mr X: So, I have this huge swelling. What can i do about it?
Me: Well, I can give you some ultrasound and some draining exercises to move the fluid, but really, you'll need to take diclophenac for a week or so to get rid of it.
X: What's that?
Me: an anti-inflammatory and an analgesic.
X: I don't really want to take those. I don't like artifical replacements for the anti-histamines my body produces. And I don't want pain killers. I can deal with the pain without artifical stuff.
Me: You've got swelling because you have too much histamine, and not enough anti-histamine, we need to fix that, otherwise you'll have scarring. But, if you don't want to use a pain killer and are worried about artifical doses, we can try a much smaller, much more localised dose of anti-histamine. Hay fever tablets sometimes work well.
X: No, I don't want that. Last time I went on those, I got all moody.
Me: They will help Mr X. They'll reduce the swelling.
X: i want a natural alternative. Can't you suggest anything?
Me: i can't, not as a medical professional.
X: Then what can you do to help me? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Why do I pay my taxes for this service! *rant, rant, rant, until he leaves, dissatisfied with service*
So, here's my gripe. You come to a medical place, a place which doesn't deal in natural cures, and, after repeated options are offered to you, you admit to him "I don't like synthetic medicine." If you were my patient, I would have asked you right then, "So, why are you here to see me? Why are you wasting my, and your, time by coming here? We only prescribe synthetics, the reason being that those are the ones which have the science behind them to prove they work, and to ensure that side effects are noted." We have a duty of care Tif. That means not recommending something to someone which, based on interactions with other meds they might be on, could have the potential to leave them seriously ill. this is not to say that natural cures do not work; they do, and I am a strong believer in going natural where you can. What i am trying to get across here is that you can't expect a medic to prescribe a natural supplement. If you wanted that, you should've gone to an herbalist, or perhaps approached the situation a little difficulty, i.e, "Hello doctor. I appreciate your difficulties, but I want to avoid synthetics wherever possible. Firstly, is it dangerous for me to do so? Secondly, i've researched my options, and this is what i've come up with. Have you had any previous patients who've been on the same, and, if so, did they report that it was successful? Are you happy for me to come off synthetics for a few months to try this and see if it works?"
Thas, i'm sure, bould have earned you a very different response. I agree that the man sounded like a know-it-all, unprepared to explore different options with you, and i can appreciate your frustration on that point. Too many doctors are arrogant; sometimes so much so that they can't see the wood for the trees.
FM
*apologises for typos*.
You're right about the tmi, which is why I put that in the title. Very rarely do I ever get that explicit with my body. I had some reservations about posting this. The reason I decided to do so was incase there's some woman out there who may be having the same experience. At least, she'll know that she's not alone and if it wound up turning into a discussion of the problem more so than the doctor, I wouldn't have minded.
As for my behaviour, despite my annoyance, I was very civil. I was not expecting him to give me a natural alternative. I merely told him that I prefer natural medicine so that he'd know where I'd stand. The fact that I told him nicely that I didn't want to go on hormones again and that all the options he offered me were just another form of the pill really bothered me, especially when I explained that I never had these problems before going on birth control. It was as if he wasn't even listening. And even if he was right, and there really was nothing he could do, there's a way of explaining it so that you're not being condescending to the patient. I'm not a tone analyser by any means, but something grabbed me about the way he answered. My gynachologist had told me in the past that she didn't know too much about these remedies but she did it in a totally different way. I could respect her and her knowledge and she was at least willing to work with me and let me try things. The thing that really sealed the deal was at the end when I said that I needed to dress myself and he asked me if I could do that. I'd expect that from someone off the street, not from a trained medical professional. And incase there were any doubts, I didn't say those comments to him, only in my head. I was too shocked.
omg yes I've been there.
First though, don't hold hold it with male docs only I'll tell you about two expieriences the first with a male doc and tthe other with a female doc, and this will be tmi so b quit reading. haha
So i've had vanginal ain since the gyno put me on the pill, and the pain had just started at this point, and I was constantly in pain on my period, when I tried to masterbate or anything even when trying loob. So I went to see the only gyno they had been able to make me an apointment with, and I explained my troubles to him. I tell him him I've been having major pain, so he puts on a glove and with no loobercation or anything he shoves two fingars in to my vage all the way up to my servex which makes me shreek in not a fond way, and start crying, and he asks me "Does this hurt?" When I tell HIM YES HE REMOVES HIS FINGARS HE DOESN"TUSE A LIGHT OR DO ANY TESTS> He says it looks normal go ahead and use hidrocordizone. So My mother and I got the cream which made things worse because I found out later the cream has alcohol in it and the ointment does not. So i go back to this same guy because that's all they offer and he tells me I'm crazy to use loob and go home.
Well a year later shortly after loosing my verginity I went to another doctor who told me what my problem was. So I'm finding treetments for it and what not, but the following january I have to go in for a pelvic exam, and I'm having a flare up of my vv. I brought in some paper work about the pill and how it may contribute or have caused my issue, and official study that talks about women with vv having low levels of whormoans. I asked this lady doctor then if She might do some whormoan testing or perhapse perscribe something for the pain. Instead of doing either of these things she shrugged off the thing about the pain meds, and told me that "Doctors only test for whormoans to have something to look like their doing it's all a load of rubbish."
This is the same doctor I saw a few months before with bv. I had been wearing the ring which fucked up the balance in my VAGE< AND I came in in so much pain I could hardly stand up right. So she does her tests, and asks me if i have any other conditions, and I tell her about the vv, and she goes "What is that?" PROVING TO ME THAT BEFORE I CAME IN WITH THESE PAPERS SHE HAD NO IDEA ANYWAY< AND JUST DIDN"T CARE> Then after her not knowing about vev i that same vizzet she asks me... "What form of birth control are you using.'" I told her humuntil 4 days ago the noova ring but I stopped because of the things it was doing to me. She then says to me "Blind people get pregnant too you know?" Just really woman... they let you graduate from doctoral school?
I agree with Wildbrew's post. Wow, she actualy asked if blind peole get pregant? wow.
I've never been to a male gyno, and I wouldn't want to. Not because all male gynos are pricks. I'm just not comfortable with that. My Mom and one of my sisters goes to a guy, and they like him as a doctor. And, I've met some female gynos who are total bitches.
Yeah, Tiff, he was condescending and didn't really seem to listen to you. However, if you don't want synthetic medicine, you should probably find a female naturopathic doctor. Most any conventional doctor is going to prescribe synthetic meds, in this particular case, hormonal treatments.
I wouldn't have even been upset had he prescribed them in a different way, or at the very least, listened to my concerns. But everything I said went in one ear and out the other. But after hearing Damia's story, it sounds like I had an angel! Oh my Gods how horrible? Asking what a medical problem is that she should know about, not looking at your records and then having the audacity to say that blind people get pregnant? It's not like you said "you know, I just don't feel like taking birth control today. I don't think I'll ever get pregnant." You stopped for a reason! Btw, thanks so much for sharing your story and I really hope things work out for you.
I feel for you both, and agree that some doctors are real arrogant idiots. It's not a male thing though. In fact, I have found that male gynos take a lot more time to explain things to you when you visit, whereas a female thinks you know a lot of it already. I prefer males to females.
I still say that it could have been approacthed fifferently, but, as I said in the first post, arrogance rules supreme with many doctors.
I didn't have too much of a problem that he was a male, though it was a bit strange. It was just my first time with a male gyno. But I certainly don't judge all male doctors by this one.